Grandparenting the Blended Family by Dene Low

Author:Dene Low
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Familius
Published: 2013-09-04T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seven

Holidays, Traditions, Events—Oh, My!

The things that are most memorable for a family are often events complete with traditions, activities, and food. Events create a situation where people can interact with each other, share news with each other, and eat. Events mean someone has gone to the trouble of planning the event, getting there, taking time out of schedules to be somewhere, and preparing food. Family traditions from one family can be incorporated into the blended family. Then everyone can be enriched. My favorite memories are of family events where many people came and good food was served.

For children, events have huge significance. Children are typically participators rather than organizers. They are usually not the ones who plan events, but those events are important to them—especially if the children are performing in some capacity or being included as part of the group, or even if the event is just part of a tradition. Events are even more important if family members show up to support the children and to show approval of their efforts. When the family gets together and the children are included, it signifies belonging, continuity, and worthiness to belong.

Now that she has grandchildren, Ellen has discovered the joy of including them in her holiday traditions. She said, “My daughter and I always got together to put up the Christmas tree, and I’m kind of picky. I have ornaments that I’ve collected from all over the world, and I wanted them placed just so on the tree.” However, her perfectionism lessened when her grandson came into the picture. She said,

You find that, when you have a two-year-old helping, you don’t care so much about how the tree looks. The bottom half of my tree is far more heavily decorated than the top, but he was having so much fun doing it that I had fun just watching him. He would stand back and look at the tree that he had decorated and feel proud of what he’d done. It helped emphasize the magic of Christmas and families. I know that sounds cheesy, but there really is a magic there.

Ellen found another way of including Dillon in her cherished traditions. She said, “I collect Grinch paraphernalia, and I have a little Who village with the little Who characters and the Grinch lair that I put out at Christmas. Dillon loves putting it out. While he puts the village out, I tell him the story.”

The interaction that came naturally with putting out Christmas decorations also gave Ellen the opportunity to share her Christian faith with her grandson. She said,

I found that he loves window clings, so I bought some of the nativity. Every time he came over during the holidays, he decorated the windows. I wanted him to know the Christmas story and give him other things to play with, so I bought a children’s plastic play nativity. One day he pointed out to me, “Here’s the mommy. Here’s the daddy. Here’s the baby Jesus in his car seat.” One time he said, “And, oh, he needs his butt changed.

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